By Yolanda Pierce, Ph.D.,
The birthday candle on my cupcake was flickering quickly. The song had been sung and all I needed to do was to make that critical birthday wish and blow out the candle. We always laugh at this part of the birthday ritual and this year, while I was hesitating to make a wish, someone commented: “you have not because you ask not.” I blew out the melting candle with a wish on my lips, but my wish was hard to articulate, even to myself. I did not know how to ask, how to express my deepest desires and longings, or how to frame my contradictory set of needs. I was a cauldron of wants and wishes, but what were the right words? How could I express to God my petitions when they didn’t even make sense?
It was a few days later that I heard one of my childhood standards, a song we sang many times over:
It’s me, it’s me, it’s me, oh Lord –
Standing in the need of prayer.
It’s me, it’s me, it’s me, oh Lord –
Standing in the need of prayer.
These are not profound lyrics; there’s no deep exegesis or scriptural analysis; there really aren’t even verses. When we would sing this song, there was no distinctive ending or a preamble at the beginning. We would sing it, sometimes alternating soloists, but just with these lyrics – and the powerful reminder that it was just “you,” not the deacon or the preacher, not your brother or your sister, not your father or your mother. Just “you” in need of prayer. It is a song in which the naked self, stripped of these relational identifiers, stands in the need of prayer.
There are times when we cannot even express what we want, despite being in desperate need. There are times when our longings consume us, even though we can’t identity the separate parts. We are starving, but don’t know what food to put in our mouths to stifle the hunger. We are thirsty, but are too parched to even ask for water. What should we pray for when we are both lonely and overwhelmed with people? How should we petition when we feel weak for the task at hand, but too strong to ask for help? What do we say we want to move forward, but also fear losing that which we must leave behind?
It may simply be enough to cry out that we stand in the need of prayer. And to know that our contradictory needs, as well as our deepest longings, are known by God.
Dr. Yolanda Pierce is the Elmer G. Homrighausen Associate Professor of African American Religion and Literature at Princeton Theological Seminary, and Liaison with the Princeton University Center for African American Studies. She blogs @ Reflections of an Afro-Christian Scholar
